Dating

We live in a very interesting part of the world.  It is a place where traditional and conservative views are confronted daily with modern and western thinking.  I would say that for the most part in our country, people have arranged marriages.  This does not mean that the two getting married have no say in the matter, but simply that it is their families who arrange it.

I know of a girl here who is married to her first cousin.  A bit crazy for our thinking, but not unheard of here, and she was actually the one who suggested it.  Her cousin came to her father asking if he knew of any girls who might be good to marry.  Her father asked her if she had any friends who wanted to get married, and she suggested herself.  In this part of the world, you call any older woman your Aunt.  So when she talks about going to visit her mother-in-law, her Aunt, it always makes me chuckle a little because it really is her Aunt.

I have heard of other arranged marriages where the families arranged the couple, but before they were engaged, they got to meet together several times (under supervision) and have the final say of whether they wanted to marry or not.

I have another friend here, and have heard of others, who secretly dated before they got married.  He saw her working in a store and found out her family.  He was allowed to go on a few "dates" with her, but her brothers came along.   As she tells you her story, at this point she would lower her voice to tell you that she also would meet him a coffee shop sometimes without her brothers knowing.   Within the first five minutes of talking with my friend, she will tell you she married for love and would like to know if you too love your husband.

Andrew and I have a favorite restaurant here.  It is nicer than some, but still a lot of locals eat there (along with some tourists).  While there, I have seen what I believe to be two dates.  The girl arrives with two other girls (maybe sisters, maybe close friends),  usually the guy shows up a little bit later than the girls.  On the first date I saw, the girls waited till the guy got there, then moved to a table inside to give them some alone but supervised time.  On the second date, the girls all sat at the same table, but the two would occasionally take brief bathroom breaks together, to give them a moment alone.

How much different would the States be if we still held to a more conservative courtship?  I can't imagine only seeing the man I would marry only a couple of times before our wedding.  But at the same time, I see the value of protecting virtues and honor.